The importance of purpose.
You can buy a girl a gym membership but you can’t make her exercise 🙂
Not having a good, solid, meaningful purpose will make going to the gym a chore, one that you will never want to do, which you will resent – sure accountability and support all help, so does cracking a whip, but you want to go because you feel the pull of your purpose not the push of necessity.
Going to the gym could be to get fit, to be healthier, to live longer. Or it could be to compete in a race, to do a charity challenge, or simply to get out of the house. There are many purposes available, which is yours, which pulls you the strongest?
Having a purpose is fabulous, however, understanding why you have this purpose will give it deeper meaning. Knowing that your purpose for going to the gym is to be healthier so that you can live longer and spend more time playing with your children and grandchildren gives you that extra impetus to get off your backside and go.
This is simply an example, an analogy, and there are lots of purposes throughout our lives as well as the BIG PURPOSE.
Thoughts on Purpose
To me it isn’t always a “what”, as in “what do I want to achieve”, it’s also a feeling, a “how”. How do I want to feel about my life? How do I want to affect others in my life, in the wider world?
Everyone could benefit from having a purpose, a reason for being, for getting up in the morning and often we will have similar purposes. However, the “why” will depend on person, situation, abilities, circumstances.
NOTE : Depression can fuck up your purpose.
The insidious thoughts meandering around your mind and choking the worth out of your purpose.
Who’d want that?
What’s the point of you doing that?
Your purpose is stupid
Your purpose is worthless
And then there’s the kindly meant phrase “don’t be too hard on yourself” which can also detract you from your purpose. Those times when your purpose asks you to do something, to move a little, to shift outside of your comfort zone – these are the times we often use this phrase as an excuse. Note I said “often” not “always”. Because there are times when we shouldn’t talk to ourselves the way we do, when we do need to self-soothe, when we need to treat ourselves with gentle kindness.
Yet this well-meaning phrase can be the double-edged sword. Can allow us to wallow, be lazy, stay stuck. Here’s a small kick to the backside …
Some days you have to suck it up buttercup and do *that thing*, deny the excuses, live your purpose.
It’s a fine line between self-soothe and self-excuse and the only way I have found to know when to cross it (or not) is to be self-aware. Consider my motivations and reasons/excuses. Understand why I am doing or not doing. Be honest with myself. (side note : isn’t it so easy to lie to ourselves even when we never lie to others)
And this circles back to knowing my purpose, for if my purpose has depth and meaning then it becomes easier to shush the insidious voices. It may not be an immediate result, it may take a day or so even, yet it does and will happen –
for my purpose is strong and depression has no power over me!
And your purpose does not have to be a BIG PURPOSE, and often what we humans see as a small thing will have the biggest impact.
To make people smile is a worthwhile purpose.
I am a great believer in the Ripple Effect. That the small actions we take daily ripple across our lives and others to create waves of meaning and importance. So even if you feel you can’t “make a difference”, then make someone smile, do that every day, help someone feel better about themselves and watch the ripples outwards from that one small action.
Spend some time now, or soon at the very latest, considering your purpose, considering your reason to get up in the morning, understanding why you desire and feel this. And then figure out ways to achieve it.
My purpose? My purpose is to be a catalyst for change by using my experience and knowledge to stimulate change in others and in the world around me. A change to create a better world for everyone and everything. Why? Because I feel deeply that we are not here to simply exist but to constantly evolve not only ourselves, but the world around us, into better and better versions in order to improve life, the universe, and everything.